Ah. I think that’s a good sign. Haiku style pieces should leave a vacuum like feeling. Like you’ve arrived a second too early or late. The good news is… the chapter that follows definitely continues the vibe. Thanks for reading!
The fog hung heavy, a silent specter drifting above the roots of every tree in the forest. The damp soil beneath his feet marked the change from solid ground to mud, and he looked beyond the cypress swamp to the ebony river that snaked through the woods. The scent of decay hung in the air. Nothing moved. He heard a distant shout and instinctively crouched to the ground, finding cover behind the nearest tree. Voices floated in the mist, and a chant rose, too soft to distinguish.
Two weathered, flat-bottomed boats made their way around the river bend, traveling upstream and toward him, the sputter of an outboard pressing forward. In the front of the first boat sat a man, arms rippling with strength, folded across his chest. His body was wrapped in animal skins, and a headpiece of feathers, fur, and bone was worn like a crown. Three others, a man and two women, sat behind him. Another, in the stern of the craft, guided them forward, steering the small outboard. A wave of fear hit him as he turned to the second boat. There, sitting gagged and hands bound behind her back, was Kelly. She struggled. A diminutive figure sat in front of her, clad in fur and bone, eyes luminescent blue, a staff carved with runes raised in the air, a sacrificial blade tucked in its belt. Behind Kelly loomed another man holding a chain that ran to Kelly’s neck, hooked to a leather collar. A small woman guided this boat. The boats rounded another bend, following the river’s course, easing out of sight.
He leaped to his feet, fighting the mud, tripping over roots, and ran along the bank to follow them. A scream crammed itself into his chest. He opened his mouth and only managed to gasp. He ran forever...
Love this one: Beneath leaden dreams
Mud and mind grabbing my steps
Something ancient stirs
They reminded me of the I CHING, where the prose text functions as commentary on the poetry.
Similar, though not as literal…. Pardon the pun.
Beautiful work Kim
Thank you
This one ☝️
“Beneath leaden dreams
Mud and mind grabbing my steps
Something ancient stirs”
Soooo good! 😌
I’m so glad you like it.
I like that first one, but after "Something ancient stirs," I wanted the poem to continue. The line leads in a direction that I wanted to follow.
Ah. I think that’s a good sign. Haiku style pieces should leave a vacuum like feeling. Like you’ve arrived a second too early or late. The good news is… the chapter that follows definitely continues the vibe. Thanks for reading!
https://douglaswilton.substack.com/p/ladybugs-hummingbirds-and-you?r=645ewa&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web
Hi, Douglas. 👋🏻
thank you for these...haiku poems speak so presently...and loss is no stranger to me.
I feel that b
I especially liked this one!
Beneath leaden dreams | Mud and mind grabbing my steps | Something ancient stirs
Lead in to Chapter 4, which starts like this:
Chapter 4
The fog hung heavy, a silent specter drifting above the roots of every tree in the forest. The damp soil beneath his feet marked the change from solid ground to mud, and he looked beyond the cypress swamp to the ebony river that snaked through the woods. The scent of decay hung in the air. Nothing moved. He heard a distant shout and instinctively crouched to the ground, finding cover behind the nearest tree. Voices floated in the mist, and a chant rose, too soft to distinguish.
Two weathered, flat-bottomed boats made their way around the river bend, traveling upstream and toward him, the sputter of an outboard pressing forward. In the front of the first boat sat a man, arms rippling with strength, folded across his chest. His body was wrapped in animal skins, and a headpiece of feathers, fur, and bone was worn like a crown. Three others, a man and two women, sat behind him. Another, in the stern of the craft, guided them forward, steering the small outboard. A wave of fear hit him as he turned to the second boat. There, sitting gagged and hands bound behind her back, was Kelly. She struggled. A diminutive figure sat in front of her, clad in fur and bone, eyes luminescent blue, a staff carved with runes raised in the air, a sacrificial blade tucked in its belt. Behind Kelly loomed another man holding a chain that ran to Kelly’s neck, hooked to a leather collar. A small woman guided this boat. The boats rounded another bend, following the river’s course, easing out of sight.
He leaped to his feet, fighting the mud, tripping over roots, and ran along the bank to follow them. A scream crammed itself into his chest. He opened his mouth and only managed to gasp. He ran forever...
Wonderful clever idea for placing these in the beginning of a chapter. It’s fun and it will look really elegant.
It added a nice element of invitation. Small enough to flip by, large enough to make one pause.